CONGRUENCE

If you haven’t read my essay “Bridging The Chasm”, you should check it out. This knits that essay together rather finely.

The seemingly relevant hunt of the modern man is clarity. Clarity to mean, the complete understanding of the exact option to choose from a pool of options. So, when a person say that they need clarity, they are infact saying that they require a profound understanding of exactly what to do.

Which in itself is completely irrational. To desire completeness and totality in an option is to attempt to eradicate the idea of progression and growth. It is to desire to be controlling of factors and outcomes which is inconsistent with the nature of the human.

Our inability to decide in the guise of needing clarity constantly puts us at a state of rest where, we are static at the bridge of transition—unable to move towards or backwards. We are static; rolling on a spot with no movement.

We are constantly plagued with the disease of indecision, waiting for what should look like the most definite and failure-proof option to choose from. A mindset fractured with the unconscious belief thatwe are fundamentally incapable of decision, not because we can't choose but because we desire an option that relieves us the responsibility of owning the outcome. This defense mechanism shields us from accountability and shields our ego from potential harm.

Think of anything or anytime you’ve resorted to searching for clarity in whatever way and you’d find that what you were searching for was a roadmap; a handbook or a manual. Something that shows you exactly what to do and probably assures you that doing it will give the outcome you desire. This is so for two reasons;

1. The desire to control the outcome

2. The desire to not be held responsible for the outcome

Other times, we sit at the intersection of both. Thus, stifling the process of decision and required clarity.

The desire to control the outcome is often driven by a fear of failure or uncertainty about the consequences of our choices. We seek a sense of security and assurance by attempting to predict and manipulate outcomes. The flip side is, it never goes according to how we’ve envision this in our minds. The assurance and security you seek would continually be ruptured as you explore other options thus, leading to analysis paralysis.

When you fail to learn the right lessons from an event, this culminates into counterproductive coping mechanisms that alters future progress.

A person who ventured into a business, say Forex, loses all he has in a bad trading effort and while learning the context of his loss, the why and the nuances involved, he fails to learn the right lesson.

The lesson he’d learn would later influence his ability to decide between various business ventures and investment interests for fear of loss. This fear isn’t necessarily protecting him but rather putting him in a place where he can control the outcome. That is, be fully persuaded about the returns on his investment.

Unfortunately, no investment or venture seems to provide him closure for that fear, he goes from mentor to mentor seeking “clarity” on which venture he should delve in.

Another person who is evidently creative, competent in delivery and skilled in artistry is at a junction in his life, where he has to decide whether to get a 9-5, start an agency or simply freelance.

He thinks about this critically and is burdened by the necessity to decide. Though talented, he reckons the rejection that meets his work from his family—exaggerating their opinion and how it made him feel compared to others who have experienced his work and embraced him with open arms.

He fears that what his family has said repeatedly may be true and deep down, he thinks they may be right. Faced with indecision, not knowing the path to take, he is crippled by the options he has, not because it’s a tough one but because he desires control over the outcome—an assurance that he would succeed.

Then there is Elizabeth. Brilliant and an ardent learner, skilled in knowledge consumption but bankrupt of execution intelligence. She desires to do something, start a podcast or write a book or build a community but is constantly plagued with indecision for fear of being seen as stupid. She lives in a world of her own creation where she feels she is above the process of building which is borne out of fear of failure. She doesn’t know what to do and ends up doing nothing not because the choice is tough but she desires to control the outcome. She circumvents the work she should start doing for perfectionism and fear of the unknown.

The desire to control the outcome is a significant reason geniuses sit at the seat of confusion for far too long. The guise of needing clarity is often a shadow of fear and control. There exists the nagging desire to see to it that the world they’ve built in their mind is furnished as it is in reality and, any idea or feeling that suggest a threat to this manifestation sends them into an unending cycle of “needing clarity”.

It is not that they need clarity but they desire an option that gives them autonomy over the outcome. While this seems like what should be a possibility in thought, it fails because of the data that backs the approach—The information locked up in your mind, concocted from various opinions and the data from past indulgence serving as fuel for indecision thus, circumventing the necessity of transitions.

It’s essential to note that the information locked in your mind could be a regurgitation of another’s perspective, opinion and philosophy. This information becomes a data point for how you choose to view options and the confusion you experience that begs clarity. It is un-investigated and unconsciously controlling.

Hence, it is within personal responsibility to explore the information from others or past indulgence to ensure unconscious mislabeling doesn’t affect your current transition.

More than you know, there are ideas that reside in the realm of your subconscious that can facilitate or obstruct your decision making process. It can read as unconscious fear of someone you admire when faced with an option that negates their counsel. Or, previous criticism where, you are faced with the possibility of picking an option that goes against what you have previously condemned.

If you missed the intro where I mentioned you read an essay I wrote previously. I recommend that you do. It goes into the skin of this essay. Read it here.

Now, the desire to relieve yourself of the responsibility of an outcome happens to be far too common in different forms, shapes and sizes. This shrouds itself in nobleness and orthodoxy whereas it’s a failed attempt at transferring responsibility to save ourselves from the pain of failure and accountability.

Rather than seeking understanding from mentors or authority figures, you instead desire a roadmap—something that shows they picked it for you and so it should be the right option. However, if it isn’t, you can put that responsibility on them and relieve yourself of the pain of the outcome.

This could also be as a result of distrust. Especially in a world where we are constantly taught to look outwards, look to others than to look within and trust our inner compass. This lack of trust for one’s intuitive ability and profound wisdom could translate to leeching on others for a path so the outcome does not acknowledge the dumbness of your internal environment.

Now, clarity isn’t oblivion. Clarity does not mean you have no idea what to do but that you do know a couple of things you should do, you have an array of options to choose from but you are unsure of which your pick should be.

To get clarity on anything, there are two fundamental things to know;

First, do you need clarity or are you in oblivion?

This simply looks like not having any data you want to work with. Like a high school student who is seeking clarity on their purpose. Quite frankly, it isn’t that they seek clarity of purpose but clarity of WHAT TO DO. The reality is due to the fact that they haven’t had much to work with and no exposure to genius exploration of any kind, they are in oblivion —not needing clarity.

Hence, their path would be a little different. They would need more knowledge; about themselves and about their field of interests. They would also need more practice—doing the things they feel pulled towards.

I know. I know…there’s the human tendency to overcomplicate this process but, it’s pretty simple. Never fall victim for ideas that suggest an impractical pursuit especially from people who “found purpose” by copying others. This is a path too but quite rough.

To need clarity is to establish the presence of multiple options. That is, your soul is pulled into different directions and you are quite stuck on which direction to take.

Now the second, do you need clarity on a thing (that is perspective based on options you have available?)

The how is simple. So simple yet so hard.

It’s CONGRUENCE—Alignment of core elements of the self. It is the harmony of your beliefs, actions and values.

Congruence speaks to the connectivity you have with your innermost being, alignment with who you are at core.

In seeking clarity, you must fully understand the options you have available—know the pros and the cons but not choose based on pros or cons. Rather, to identify the option that is most in alignment with who you are, where you discern you are at right now and the future you’ve envisioned.

Harmony is the internal compass or wisdom that can guide your decision-making. Now, congruence is not a feeling but a knowing. Hence, awareness of self would precede congruence.

When your internal environment is well nurtured and you constantly operate from your state of being, you do not go outward for answers. No, you’ve done too much work on yourself to excuse that. You work with data, seek understanding and sit in with your internal compass and choose—not what seems better, not what others say is better but what you believe to be your most aligned option based on thorough evaluation, data analysis but consolidated by congruence.

Clarity isn’t about having all the answers or handling a definitive roadmap that suggests completeness. The reality is—you’d always need clarity at the bridge of transition. However, designing a system for transition must be predicated on congruence.

You should have a system that helps you cross the bridge of transition and take decisive action. Simply waiting to feel like it would have you waiting for a long time.

Here’s a simple idea you can create a system out of based on what you believe;

“If you had to travel with a small bag for a journey that could take sometime and you have to pick only one thing, what would that be?”

At first, you would think you can’t pick one thing. That’s the whole point of the activity so think again till you can only pick one thing.

Of course, you should have parameters that govern your system—it shouldn’t be generic. It should reflect your belief and value.

An example of a parameter I have for this system is related to my faith as Christian. That, it must not contradict the word of God. I understand that biblical interpretation would differ but, as an arsenal for my genius is an obsession for accurate biblical interpretation thus, as a parameter for decision—if it negates the word of God, the option cancels out itself.

You get the point? Then, create yours.

Having a system for decision-making and navigating transitions is the holy grail of next-level engagement.

In the pursuit of clarity, rather than seeking external validation or relying on others for guidance, turn inward and cultivate a deep sense of self-awareness. Understand the options available to you, weigh their merits and drawbacks, but ultimately choose the path that resonates most with you authentically.

It’s not about finding the perfect solution or avoiding all risks; it’s about honoring your genius and making decisions that reflect who you are and what you stand for.

Remember, in a world where you can be anything—BE GENIUS.

- Faith Ohio